Friday, May 5, 2017



Now, before you get upset or go to send me a private email or comment, please read this with an open heart. This is not a post intended to offend ANYONE. It is actually the opposite. It is a post that has been on my heart for some time now that I have been wanting to share with whoever desires to read it. It is a post to shed light on a subject that I truly believe God holds dear and Satan absolutely fears. It’s to bring truth to a topic that the enemy has lied about and has caused many believers to give into and believe. This is a post to bring healing, restoration, encouragement, and a game plan to do what God commanded couples to do and that is to be” fruitful and multiply”.

I am a born again Christian. I take the Word of God as truth and I see it as black and white. I don’t think that when God wrote scripture that He put any hidden messages in it, or made it difficult for people to understand and believe. I don’t believe He sugarcoated anything. I take His Word and apply it to my life and I EXPECT it to produce fruit in ANY and EVERY aspect of my day-to-day life. Both in big areas and “small” areas.

You can be a Christian and know what God’s Word says, but honestly that does not mean a thing when it comes to battling the challenges the enemy will constantly throw at you. If you do not believe with expectancy you will not experience God’s blessings in your life. It isn’t God with holding from you because He will continue to love you and bless you because He adores His children, but you will not experience ALL He has for you is you don’t truly believe what He can do in your life. James 1:6-8 reads, But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

Many people know my husband and I tried to conceive for a little over a year. In medical terminology that would put us in the category of “infertility”. Infertility is defined as “a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.” By the worlds standards that is what we were considered. Infertile. Month after month of timing, trying, and planning, my multiple pregnancy tests would read “NEGATIVE”. Probably the most hurtful word a woman trying to have a baby can read. We had people make ignorant comments to us. Others asked if everything was ok and if we should go get tested. Some suggested going on medication or looking into alternatives to help us get pregnant. But you know what? We never felt God lead us in that direction. I never felt a nudge to go get tested. I never felt a gentle guiding hand to look into alternatives. I am in no way saying that any of those things are bad because I know they have been a blessing and super helpful for many people. I just know for our story, our testimony, our walk with God; it was not for us.

After a few months of pity parties and a trash can filled with negative tests and defeated tear filled tissues, I knew there was more I could be doing aside from what we were doing in the natural. I knew that God called my husband and I to be parents. It says in Genesis 1:28, “God BLESSED them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” God not only COMMANDED my husband and I to have children but He blessed (past tense) my womb in order to fulfill that commandment. My womb in blessed. My husbands reproductive system in blessed. So why was I doubting something God already ordained to happen? I know that when God makes a promise He keeps it. So why was it so hard for me to trust that I would not only become pregnant but sustain a pregnancy?

I needed to sit down in quiet and allow God to speak to my heart and figure out WHY I was having such a hard time with believing I would be a mother of many children like it says in Psalm 113:9, “He makes the barren woman a family AND a joyful mother of CHILDREN.” I came to realize that the issue I was having and the issue I believe many women are having is they do not have real faith when it comes to this area. We want something so badly, but we go back and forth with unbelief. You can say that isn’t true. But until you realize you have been battling unbelief and you do something about it you will be like the father in Mark 9 who had wanted so badly for his son who suffered for years with an unclean spirit to be healed but wasn’t BECAUSE of the father’s unbelief.
If you have never read this story it goes like this:
A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.” “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” “From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe help me overcome my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”
You see, this young boy for years was battling this possession. Sound familiar? Some of you reading this may have been battling conceiving for years. The unclean spirit that possessed him would come and go. Sound familiar? You may have ended up conceiving and miscarried. The father was desperate. You are desperate. He admitted he was battling with unbelief. I mean who wouldn’t battle with unbelief after repeated “failures”? If I was in his shoes and I saw my child being possessed for years to the point of almost dying on several occasions I think I too would be battling doubt and unbelief.
I love the part where the father says “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” And Jesus looks at him like BOY WHO DO YOU THINK I AM and replies, “IF you can?! EVERYTHING is possible for one who BELIEVES” The father then admits he has not been believing and asks Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief. So that is where I started on my journey to believing God would fulfill His promise in giving us children. I admitted, “Jesus, I have sinned. I have been fearful and worried and I have been living a life of unbelief. Forgive me and help me with my unbelief.”

As soon as I did that, something inside of me changed. That defeated, pitiful, doubtful spirit I was once operating in turned into a joyful, excited, expectant spirit. I no longer dreaded taking a pregnancy test if I was late. If it said negative I would say, “Ok Lord, lets keep going, show me more on this topic. What else can I learn to build my relationship with you and grow my faith?” Another month would come and again the pregnancy test would read NEGATIVE. “Praise God, my body is blessed. My womb is blessed. I WILL be blessed with many children. It may not be this month but I have MANY more months for it to happen.” I needed to change my mindset when it came to how I viewed this topic. Your mind is a battlefield and if you give the enemy a foothold and he can cause you to doubt, it will be a very unpleasant and tough battle to overcome. Something my mom told me years ago is, “it is SO MUCH easier to ignore a stray cat and keep it out of your house then give it a little bowl of milk and then try to get it out of your house.” Boy was that true for me. I gave the enemy a bowl of milk and then wanted him to leave when he already made himself at home. But praise God I got him out. It was now time to repair the damage he did to my home. I started worshipping the Lord in song. We see that the walls of Jericho literally came falling down during worship. I filled my mind with scripture and spoke it over my body and life daily. I prayed for my children and their health. I learned how to speak life into a situation the enemy wanted me to believe was dead. I NEVER EVER spoke infertility over my body no matter what doctors and medical professional defined my situation as. I finally made the decision in my mind that I AM going to have a baby and I wanted that baby in Gods timing because ANYTHING apart from God is failure and I would not accept failure. If that meant waiting another year or another or another I made the decision to rejoice in the waiting and continuing to grow my faith and live every moment with an expectant heart.

It’s funny because when I did find out I was pregnant I totally forgot I even took a pregnancy test. I was at my friends house for 4th of July and we were sitting on her porch and I was telling her I wasn’t feeling too great. She immediately asked, “are you pregnant?!” HMM that was a good question. It was not something I even thought about until she said it. (Which let me just say, when you finally make the decision to truly trust God and His Will and promises for your life with expectancy, you no longer live in bondage and are no longer consumed with that which you are believing God for. You can live day to day fully at peace and rest knowing God has ALL things under control. I was experiencing that. A topic that consumed all my time was now something I didn’t think about EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. It was so freeing!)
Anyway back to my little story. My friend encouraged me to take a test. I figured, it doesn’t hurt to take it. I went to CVS bought a two pack and took a test. This was July 4th. The test said negative. I started crying. Not tears of sorrow but tears of joy! I felt so much joy in that moment. I can’t explain it. All I can say is God literally took my tears of mourning and sorrow and turned them into joy! I praised God and thanked Him for our little baby that He fearfully and wonderfully made and went on with my day. Fast-forward 6 days to July 10th.  It was a Sunday morning and I woke up to get ready for church. The moment my feet hit the ground I felt a still small voice encourage me to go take that second test in the box from the other day.  “But God, the test I took a few days ago said negative. Why would I take another one?” But I kept feeling that little nudge to take it. So I did and I put the test down on the counter and continued doing my makeup and hair. 10 minutes later I remembered I took that test so I glanced down and say YES+. HUH? HOW? I said to my husband who was still in bed sleeping, “BABE! I think I’m pregnant! Does YES mean I’m pregnant?” Well two more confirmed tests and another at the doctor confirmed our little nugget! Can I get an AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys, I can stand here today as someone who would be grouped in the infertile category and tell you that word that doctors and others throw out so easily is a LIE! Do not speak that. Do not believe that. If I would have spoken that over my body and believed that word to be true in my situation I don’t believe I would be sitting here holding our precious baby boy. Honestly. I would not be experiencing his little smiles and him holding my fingers as I nurse him. We would have an empty room in our house not a nursery. You see God ALREADY has your blessings in a storehouse waiting to release them to you.  Malachi 3:10 reads, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” God is waiting for you to submit. He is waiting for you to believe. Not just know.
I know that eating healthy is good for me. I know my body will reap so many rewards from filling it with vitamin and mineral enriched foods but if I do not take the action to actually eat healthy my body will reap nothing. That is the same when it comes to the difference between knowing what God says and BELIEVING what God says. You need to put your faith into practice.
Sisters, families, husbands, whoever is reading this. I urge you to get into a quiet place and repent if you have been living with unbelief. Ask God to forgive you and help you overcome that unbelief. He is loving and faithful and eager to help!
Next take back the ground that you gave over to the enemy. Satan has NO POWER unless you give it to him. Take back your mind. Rebuke the chains he has placed around you and rebuke the authority you have allowed him to possess in your life.
Then fill your mind with Scripture. Do a Word study on what God has to say about children, motherhood, fertility, etc. The way to overcome doubt like Jesus said in Mark 9 (above) is through prayer but let your prayer be filled with power, the power of truth found in scripture. Prayer is a mighty weapon and when it comes to weapons I’m not trying to have some dull little knife I want a sharp two edged sword like it says in Hebrews 4:12,  “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” AMEN?!
If you have not been feeling encouraged to get in the Word and see what God has to say about your situation I would love to give you some scriptures I meditated on, but I encourage you to find some of your own, ones that speak to you and your heart. And believe them, sweet ones. Don’t just read them. Let those promises from God himself penetrate your heart. Read them knowing they are FOR YOU and expect them to come to fruition in your life.  


Psalm 84:11 For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.

Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.

Psalm 113:9 He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD!

Psalm 128:1-6 How joyful are those who fear the LORD - all who follow his ways!
You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be! Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home.

Deuteronomy 7:14 You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock.

Deuteronomy 28:1-2, 4, and 11 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the world. You will experience all these blessings if you obey the LORD your God:Your children and your crops will be blessed. The LORD will give you prosperity in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you, blessing you with many children, numerous livestock, and abundant crops.

Exodus 23:26 There shall be no one miscarrying or barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.

Romans 4:17-18 Abraham's faith did not weaken, even though he knew that he was too old to be a father at the age of one hundred and that Sarah, his wife, had never been able to have children. He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God.

Hebrews 11:11 By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised.

Isaiah 66:9  Shall I bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? saith the LORD: shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb? saith thy God.

Galatians 3:29, Galatians 3:9 "Now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and now all the promises God gave to him belong to you."

Exodus 23:26  and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.

After 2 years of waiting, our promise from God, Otis Valor arrived on March 24th! Hallelujah!